Aug 27 2015
Today is my birthday eve. Saying goodbye to 30, and moving on to 31. As I reflect over the year… I have to say this was a challenging year… A year of lessons. A year of growth.
My 30th year… This is the year we confirm Alexa had autism. That I have to say was the absolute most challenging issue I have dealt with. I mourned. I cried. I was terrified.
But I knew she needed the help. So, with the help of family and friends, I got her diagnosed. I got her into the autism center. We did what we needed to do. She has blossomed.
I switch careers. I left a call center job for a better work family balance with Alexa. I was too tired before, and I needed to make this choice for my family.
While struggling to find our way with the diagnosis and me switching jobs, Stephen and I needed to take a refresh on our marriage with marriage counselling. I’m not ashamed that Stephen and I needed guidance. We love each other too much to let our marriage fall apart. So we did what we needed to do.
I realized this year how strong I can be. I fought for my child to get diagnosed as early as she did. I coped and processed. I did what needed to be done for what is best for my child. I hold her in my arms knowing that I love her, and I am doing the best I can by her.
Same with my marriage. I fought for it. We fought for it. Is there more improvements to be made? Absolutely. Will we be going back for more sessions? Yes we will. Because we see it is worth it.
I realized how lucky I am to have such an amazing family. I never truly knew… Or understood what it meant. I have the most wonderful parents, sister and brother-in-law. They would do anything to help me. They would do anything for Alexa. I have leaned on them when I felt weak and they kept me grounded. They kept me strong. They helped Stephen and I out so much. When I felt like I was falling apart, they put me back together.
I have amazing friends. I’ll be honest. I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have I cherish. I have very close bonds with the few do I do have. They always supply a non judgemental ear, support, kindness, ready to listen when I feel like I am falling apart. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.
My husband was my rock this year. I truly did fall apart and he was there to pick up the pieces. Yes we went to counselling, but when your wife’s life is in shambles, sometimes you need a third-party to guide you how to get back to where you once were, and lead you on the path to where you need to be. And that’s OK.
So once all that went down, I processed. I learned. I started to cope some. I was proud of myself because I knew if I was not Alexa’s voice, then she wouldn’t have one. I got her help. No matter what emotion I was feeling. I pushed passed and did everything I could for her.
And this part was my absolute favourite part of the year. She grew… Physically of course she’s a super tall kid… But I mean mentally. She is so smart. A problem solver. She understood. She explored. She simply figures things out. She catches on quickly. And she makes progress every single day. She has independence. She is a little sponge for knowledge and learning.
Her smile melts me. Her laugh is music to my ears. Her babbling is precious. How she pronounces words is just adorable.
This year was a tough year. This year put my strength to the test… But every moment I have with Alexa, my husband, my family, and my close friends… It made me understand the true meaning of support. And the true strength I have within.
For the lessons I learned… I would not trade this year for anything.