My Baby Girl is fierce. She knows what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. Her determination, if molded correctly will get her so far in life it is not even funny. However, not shaped correctly, then it’s going to be bad situation. So, as a parent it is my responsibility to make sure she is molded and shaped into a productive member of society. Which means, I piss her off… A lot.
Here is an example of what I do to piss her off. I am teaching her boundaries. My parents have a fireplace that has brass all the way around it. She loves to look at her reflection. I mean LOVE. She does it all the time. However, there is a grate that she KNOWS she is not allowed to touch. But of course being 21 months, she does not have any impulse control, so she likes to lift and slam it from time to time. 9 times out of 10 if I tell her no, she stops. It’s that 1 time when she doesn’t want to stop, and I make her that upsets her.
The other day she lifted and slammed it down. I looked at her and told her “No.”
Want to know what she did? Baby Girl looked me straight in the eye and slammed it again. I said nothing, walked over, put my hand on the grate and firmly told her “no” again. This is where she became extremely upset – full-blown temper tantrum. She screamed. She cried. She tried to push my hand away. She tried to push me away. She was so upset and frustrated at me, because I would not let her touch that grate. What did I do while she was doing all this? I stood there, held the grate and thought “how on earth can such a little person be this strong”. I ignored the behavior, and eventually she went away, and cuddled with her Nan because she did not get her way.
Ten mins later, it was time for me to go to work. I went over to kiss her good-bye and she was still mad at me, and pushed me away. I got my shoes on and said bye to her, she lifted her head off of my mom, looked at me like I betrayed her, and placed it back down. I smiled and left for the day. On the inside I felt like crap, but I molded her today. From that day to my knowledge, she has not touched the grate.
Being a parent is the most important job in the world. Hands down being a mother is the most challenging, rewarding, breathtaking, awe inspiring, mind consuming job I have ever done in my life. And by choosing to be a parent, you made the choice to raise someone while trying to do the least amount of screw ups possible. Basically, when you have a child you think about every action twice: Once for how it will affect you, once for how it will affect the child. Meaning – I feel like crap because she is upset however, she needs to know when someone says no to stop because she could hurt herself or others.
So, here’s what I learned in my short 21 months of being a mom. I am mean mommy. Do I like being mean mommy? Hell no. Am I going to piss her off at least once a day until she is 18ish? Most likely. Am I doing this for fun? Absolutely not. Am I doing this because I love her and I’m responsible for raising a child that will be a respectful, well grounded, self-aware, helpful, well-rounded individual? You bet your ass! Basically I’m not her buddy, I am her mother. And she, well, she is the love of my life.